


A Day in the Life of Asmo (and Y/N)

by JoannaNeet



Category: Shall We Date?: Obey Me!
Genre: Asmo is bi, Cards Against Humanity, Female Reader, I feel bad for Satan and Mammon now, Innocent Luke, Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV Second Person, Shopping, Solomon is a shady person, TEAM PARTYYYY group chat scenarios, Y/N will be used, pop culture references, the Cat group chat most likely appears in every scenario
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:55:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28444275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JoannaNeet/pseuds/JoannaNeet
Summary: The Avatar of Lust and his human (A.K.A you) live your everyday lives together with the brothers (and the other dateable characters). From another typical day in the Devildom to chilling out in the human world, follow Asmodeus and his human in their day to day lives.
Relationships: Asmodeus & Main Character (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!), Asmodeus & Solomon (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!), Asmodeus (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Reader, Asmodeus/Solomon (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!), Diavolo & Lucifer (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!), Diavolo/Lucifer (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 17





	1. A Little TOO Much Shopping

**Author's Note:**

> Just a few 'insert here' parts for this chapter (for your convenience):  
> \- (Y/N) = your name  
> \- (M/T/F) = milk tea flavo(u)r
> 
> Also, this is my first story on this site and I'm planning on making more of these in the future!

It was another typical day in the House of Lamentation for you.

_‘LOLOLOL!¡! Mammon was caught red handed by Lucifer, who found out he was stealing ‘Devildom Charity’ box items and making tons of money off them.’_ Levi texted you in the morning.

_“Thank you (Y/N) for the good dreams I’ve had with you in bed. I want to do this again, alongside Beel we can all sleep together.~”_ Belphie said after waking up alongside him on your bed.

_“(Y/N), I’ll help you clean up the mess on the table after our breakfast today. We don’t want to leave this for lunch!”_ Beel said, helping you out with cleaning the already eaten breakfast (knowing Lucifer would KILL the seven of you for not cleaning up after yourselves).

To be honest, maybe Belphie and Beel were just being soft with you, since they were twins.

Levi on the other hand…

***Ring Ring Ring!***

Your phone was ringing. 

Noticing the name pop up on the screen of your D.D.D, it was Asmodeus who was calling you, so you decided to answer.

“My darling, (Y/N)! It’s me, Asmo-chan.”

“Oh, hey there Asmo. Hopefully you had an amazing beauty sleep in the morning.”

“Ahhh, that wasn’t the case. All I heard was Mammon and Lucifer’s non-stop fighting near the hallway of my room. The skin care tool I bought with Satan and Solomon last time was supposed to work, but the sound. Argh, my perfectly luscious skin complexion is ruined from sound, as the ‘CAUTION’ label warns!” Asmo was getting salty now, you were sure of it.

“Mhm… I understand how you feel. Personally, I would be pissed too if Mammon made noise near the hallways screaming trouble. Though you're probably the lucky one compared to what I have to deal with everyday, Asmo. Since Mammon’s always the one coming into my room and making a ruckus.”

“Awww~, does my precious (Y/N) want to be showered tonight by the alluring demon, Asmodeus? I could shower you all night with kisses in my bed rather than having my foolish older brother paw at you.”

“Actually Asmo, I promised Belphie I’d sleep with him tonight, sorry about passing up on the offer though.”

“You always do that to him (Y/N), giving my younger brothers this ‘love’ more than I, your favorite demon. Anyways, I wanted to ask you if you’re free to go out with me to Majolish. I was hoping to get something cozy and warm, along with new formal wear for the New Years party happening very soon, (Y/N).” Asmo then changed the subject, opting for the two of you going shopping.

“Yeah sure, I’m down for it!”

“Alright, I’ll meet you at your room (Y/N). Pack bring some Grimm with you, we may take the whole night to shop!”

* * *

Technically, it wasn’t the _whole_ night. Since the two of you were sitting in the seats of a café ordering another of Madam Scream’s desserts (along with having your first spiced demon latte, topped extraordinarily with amazing whip cream that could outrank Starbucks) and contemplating on how to continue with your shopping experience. It was only early afternoon and the two of you had left Majolish unsatisfied.

“Honey, all the clothes that we saw when shopping were out of fashion! They were last seasoned!” Asmo said, taking a delicate bite of his favorite pink cupcake. 

“Asmo, the clothes we saw looked really pretty! I don’t understand why you wouldn’t pick something up.”

“(Y/N), I wore that star struck outfit last year! Of the hundreds of thousands of years that have passed, this may be the year that I look for something… adorning on me that sparks ‘beauty’~.”

That’s when it struck you. You had an idea!

“Asmo, why don’t we call up Solomon and ask him if Barbatos can open us up a portal to the human world? We could go to one of those commercial districts in Tokyo, or maybe a large shopping mall and look around.”

“(Y/N), you absolute star! I’ll call up Solomon right now!” Asmo kissed you on the cheek as he picked up his D.D.D, calling Solomon up.

_The two must be negotiating, with Asmo’s alluring and needy nature,_ you thought when looking into Asmo’s eyes. He wanted to check out the high-end fashion from the human world, for sure. However, the problem you thought of was what would Solomon ask of for payback?

“Alright (Y/N)! I sparked a deal with Solomon and you’ll be helping him as his apprentice for 2 days… I bet you he’ll also ask you to try his awful cooking, so try to ignore that stuff and throw it in the trash without him looking!~” Asmo smiled innocently, though he might’ve just evil queened you.

“ASMO! NO, PLEASE OH GOSH NO!”

“(Y/N), you're such a doll! Remember this was your idea after all, and you knew that Solomon would ask for something in return for putting up with our begging.”

_More like your needy voice, Asmo._ You thought dismally.

Of course Solomon did. _The wise King Solomon wants me, the demon brothers, Lord Diavolo, Barbatos and the angels to suffer in hell with his ‘cooking’._

You sighed, looking down at your D.D.D. It was 13:07, so you had to leave the shopping district by 20:00 (when Lucifer would go on a rage, asking “Where is (Y/N)?” at the dinner table and eyeing on Mammon as if he was the suspect).

* * *

You and the group walked out of Solomon’s car. Apparently, Satan joined the three of you in Asmo’s shopping crisis after wishing to find a book at one of the Japanese bookstores that wasn’t in the Devildom.

_“There’s a certain book I wanted to get in the human world, though expect me to come back with a ton of cat books.”_ Satan smiled at you from the back of the car. The two of you were sitting in the back of Solomon’s car, which looked really nice on the outside, but shady when inside of it (probably because of Solomon’s back trunk that screamed ‘magic’). 

Asmo was probably being flirty with Solomon in the front seat. No doubt, since they shared a pact together.

The group opted to go window shopping, since it fulfilled Asmo’s heart, though the problem that you thought you’d run into was _“What if we don’t have enough money to buy Asmo what he wants? Since I’m down to like 5780 yen right now and I’m sure that the amount that Asmo needs to pay for a brand new outfit for the New Years may be A LOT more expensive than we initially planned.”_

_“Oh, Solomon’s got that covered for all of us.”_ You remembered Asmo winking at the front seat behind you and Satan.

_“Wait, but isn’t making fake money illeg–”_ Satan knew what Asmo was talking about, but he was stopped by Solomon right there.

_“(Y/N) knows that I know_ **_every bar code_ ** _to Japanese yen, so we won’t get caught. Isn’t that right (Y/N)?”_ Solomon said with that very shady vibe that you still have with him.

_“Solomon, are you like… clairvoyant? Since you seem like you are.”_ You had to ask him because what he said was uncalled for.

Solomon laughed a little. _“I think Barbatos is more clairvoyant than I am, since his ‘power’ is controlling time. Though you could say that after summoning 72 demons, I tend to know a lot as a sorcerer.”_

Of course, Satan went negative and questioned Solomon’s antics, while Asmo continued to rave about human world fashion with you and Solomon by pulling up pictures on his D.D.D.

And now that you all went inside the mall, you noticed how packed it was. No doubt because after Christmas, many stores had to sell off any Christmas related stuff that would be replaced with next year’s goods. 

“(Y/N), I’ll text you once I’m finished buying these cat books, they’re limited so I couldn’t possibly go to the human world library and find any of them to borrow.” Satan said, waving a small hand as he made his way to the bookstore.

“Alright, I’ll text you where we are in the shopping area, so we’ll see you later!” You waved a hand at Satan, leaving you with Asmo and Solomon.

* * *

The three of you walked around the plaza, with Asmo piling up bunches of soft fabric coats on hangers, cozy winter socks and trendy but comfortable pants that even you would admire to steal. Asmo even picked out these cute jeans, which you for sure wanted to steal from him sometime since they would’ve been cute to style with an outfit you had in mind (since they were boyfriend jeans).

You knew for a fact that Asmo spent about 12,000 (‘fake’?) yen that Solomon created using magic. However, the huge shopaholic phase that Asmo had while walking through the shopping district had targeted you and Solomon as bait, with the two of you carrying these large bulky bags filled with clothing that Asmo bought for himself. However, you were glad that you were half way finished with your shopping. All you needed to do now was buy Asmo a luminous suit that was new compared to that star struck outfit he wore last New Years, which you thought wouldn’t be too hard! 

Along the way, the three of you stopped by a bubble tea area for just a little break. Because you were nice, you treated Asmo and Solomon (along Satan once he comes back from book shopping) with some boba. You ordered yourself a (M/T/F) boba, Asmo a strawberry cheesecake boba, Solomon a classic Hokkaido with sago and Satan a matcha boba.

After the drinks were bought and called out on, you took a seat with Solomon and Asmo, handing the two the drinks you ordered them.

“Thank you, my cute apprentice!” Solomon smiled.

“H-hey! I won’t be your apprentice until tomorrow! So I should get some leeway!” You softly complained. It gave you a sort of weird feeling whenever Solomon thanked you.

“Aww~, my darling (Y/N) offering me a drink? How sweet!” Asmo said, sipping on his strawberry cheesecake boba you bought him. Solomon then stopped to ask you a question.

“Hey (Y/N), do you know the time? My D.D.D is dead after the hassle of shopping with you guys.” Solomon asked. He was probably also as tired as you were from the amount of money he created and the barcodes that he had to memorize. Not to mention carrying the huge bags that Asmo forced you and Solomon to carry due to Asmo's power on you two.

“Yeah, it’s 17:35. I think that Satan will text me back very soon. He’s probably already finished shopping.”

Just then, Satan pulls a chair out and sits with the group. He carries a big book bag, no doubt carrying all his ‘special edition cat books’. You hand him his matcha boba, with him saying ‘thank you’ before he pokes the large straw into the drink you bought him.

“Thank you, (Y/N). I was about to text you where you guys were, but the last book store I went to was nearby the bubble tea shop. Saved me the time from all these shoppers.” Satan took a sip from the straw, enjoying the sweet flavour and chewing through the sugary black boba he sipped.

“No problem Satan! We should probably leave soon, we have to come back at 8 pm, or else Lucifer will kill us!” You and Satan both laugh at that idea.

“To be honest, I myself would like to hide here in the human world and let Lucifer complain all he wants. However, it’s more fun to trick Lucifer with you and Belphie rather than 'disappear' you could say.” Satan schemingly smiles at you.

“Alright, alright (Y/N)! There’s this one boutique that sells such luminous outfits that are befitting for the Avatar of Lust~.” Asmo stands up, putting on his nice shades and sipping his cheesecake boba tea a little more.

“Great, let’s go!” You were already this exhausted from this whole day. Just one more run to the boutique and you were done with the shopping! 

“Okay Satan, help us carry some of this,” Solomon tells Satan. “Me and (Y/N) carried all of this shit Asmo bought, and it’s A LOT!”

“Wait. Why doesn’t Asmo carry it him–” Satan is then stopped by you responding.

“Asmo literally made us his ‘personal shopping bag carriers’ for the whole trip. It’s hard enough when we know he’s going to buy a ton of stuff and allure us again, so you better help us out Satan!”

“Tch… fine.” Satan says negatively, carrying about two of the seven shopping bags filled with the cozy and designer chic winter clothes that Asmo had bought from the few hours of shopping.

A few minutes pass by and the four of you make your way to the boutique that Asmo mentioned. _The store looks like they sell such high-end clothing!_ You thought to yourself, admiring the such intricately sewn yellow-gold stars on a midnight blue dress. For some reason, you’re really into this dress because it reminded you of Belphie in a sense. 

“(Y/N), you seem very intrigued to get that outfit. It seems we may need to ask Solomon to buy it.” Asmo purrs next to you, making you feel a little uncomfortable.

“What?!? No, it’s fine Asmo! I should have enough to afford this dress.” You turn the price tag of the dress, reading 7,500 ¥! Way overboard after you spent about a thousand five hundred yen on drinks. Making your funds garnered to around four thousand yen?

“(Y/N), why don’t you try on the dress? I’ll be in the other changing room if anything. I already found my luminous New Year's outfit that will make everyone charmed~.”

“Yeah, sure Asmo. I’m not sure if it’ll fit though…”

“Honey, it’ll be fine. It looks spellbinding for the New Years party! If you wear it, I’m sure it’ll look more spectacular!” Asmo smiled at you, earning approval to wear a pretty gown you chose.

“Okay Asmo, I’ll put it on for you.” You smiled back at Asmo as you waited for an open change room to try on the pretty midnight blue gown with stars.

After placing on the dress, you could see that it was a nice fit, maybe a little bit of tailoring from Levi could help. You just had to promise him to play some Devil Kart or finish some kind of cosplay outfit with him. _It’ll all work out_ , you thought.

Walking out of the dressing room, Solomon and Satan glance right at you and your flowing midnight blue dress with yellow-gold stars. Solomon flirtatiously whistles, while Satan just stands there, thinking ‘wow’.

“(Y/N), I just can’t.” Satan blushes, with his eyes closed and hand on his chin making you think that he likes it but won’t admit that.

“Looking good, (Y/N). Now the price–” Solomon is stopped by you speaking.

“It’s more than yen than I have, so please pay for the rest Solomon!” You begged him, it looked really pretty on you and you knew that Solomon was probably the only one with ‘money’. Mammon would probably be jealous and ask Solomon to do this for him, but he wouldn’t since Solomon would NEVER want to pact with him and vice versa.

“Alright (Y/N), but I’m going to ask for 3 more days of you ‘helping’ me at Purgatory Hall.” Solomon sighed at your pawing nature.

You thought of the idea and you were gonna throw up. “Fine! Geez, at least let me have some of the food that Luke and Simeon make.” You glare at him.

“That may not be a given, but we’ll see.” The shady wizard smiles, his glance directly at you before another changing room door opens up. It was Asmo who opened up, adorned in such an ornate outfit with a beautiful magenta bow.

“This outfit spoke my name and it luminates my essence as the Avatar of Lust. What do you all think of it~?” 

“I actually like it, Asmo. Human world fashion looks really good on you.” You smiled at the pretty demon in human world fashion.

Solomon looked at Asmo and sighed, “Alright Asmo, we’ll buy it. Just to let you know, (Y/N) being targeted as your peace offering will be ‘exciting’ for me.” He smiled, which made you a little scared.

“Oh, I know about that~, (Y/N) is so kind!”

“Yeah, yeah… ‘kind’.” You muttered, assuring that Asmo wouldn’t hear you.

“So, are we going to leave now?” Satan asked, “I’m getting a little tired from all this shopping.” 

“Satan’s right, let’s just pay for the garments, drive Solomon’s car back and teleport to the Devildom.” You said.

To be honest, you were tired. Tomorrow was going to be awful and you knew it. _Being Solomon’s apprentice for 5 days sucks,_ you thought in your head carrying the dress bought on a hanger and sealed.


	2. It's A Sin To Play Cards Against Humanity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a little late for the New Years, but here's the next chapter!
> 
> *Also, I own a box of this game (thanks Myles for gifting this on my birthday two years ago!), its a messed up game and I'd advise staying away from it. 
> 
> Either way, Happy 2021 everyone! We got through the cursed year 2020!

The year 2020 was almost over and you have had it! Everything from 2020 was cursed, but the Devildom… now that was your safe place. 

_ You met the Avatar of Lust there from Solomon giving a bit of his magic to you to summon Asmodeus to charm Henry 1.0 and escape the underground tunnels of the Demon Lord’s Castle. However, the pact you shared with him… made you determined to pact other demons, even though you technically were afraid to.  _

“(Y/N)! Please snap out of it, honey! We’re picking out another Just Dance song!” Asmo called out, making you feel a little hazy.

That was right. You were outside of the Demon Lord’s Castle with the brothers, Lord Diavolo, Barbatos, the angels and Solomon. You were not somewhere ‘lively’ like Time Square in New York City waiting for the ball drop. You weren’t at a banquet anymore, since you left with Asmo from there at about 19:45. No, you were spending time with the demons that took care of you during your time at the exchange program and those who took residence in the Purgatory Hall.

“Alright, let’s see.” You looked at the various songs on the controller. “How about Ice Cream, by BLACKPINK?”

“Heheh,” Levi laughed, “This is a song that Asmo likes, but I’m gonna beat him at this!”

Apparently, you and Satan were dragged in by Asmo to play Just Dance 2021 on Levi’s Nintendo Switch. A wide screen television was placed outside for the four of you to play. While playing though, you noticed how flexible the Avatar of Lust was while dancing to some of the songs. It was either he or Levi who’d always win a song play through, with you and Satan trailing in last.

Satan sighs, “Why don’t you three just play. Or better, Asmo and Levi just play! I’m beat from the pace of these songs and from the two of you winning all the time.” He said with the anger inside of him showing.

“Aww! Come on, Satan! You would never back down for my sake.” Asmo begs Satan, but to no avail.

“Look, I’ve had enough of playing this game. Why don’t we just chill and play some cards!”

“Did you say you wanted to play cards?” Solomon came up to Satan, patting a shoulder at him with his hand.

“Solomon! Why did you do that?!?” Satan pushed Solomon’s hand aside, now angry at Solomon coming from behind.

“I remembered when you invited me to play ‘Ultimate Vampire’ with you, (Y/N) and Belphie. Now it’s my turn to ask you if we should play this.” Solomon brings out a rectangular black box that reads ‘Cards Against Humanity’. Of course, you knew about this game!

“Solomon, we have a minor at this party!” You take a jab at Solomon’s arm, who gives a smiling but hurt expression to you.

“H-hey! Satan was just bored so I decided to bring this game out. You seem to know an awful lot about this game, (Y/N).” Solomon looks at you, with a mischievous smile and glance.

“Of course I do, it’s a human world game and it’s  **bad** !” You said, ashamed that you were going to be dragged into playing this  _ horrible  _ game.

“What’s bad?” Asmo comes up to the three of you, with Levi trailing behind him.

“Oh… this.” Solomon hands the box to Asmo, who smiles.

“Ahhh, I know this  _ game _ ~.” Asmo looks at the box very cunningly.

“What game?” Simeon suddenly appears, along with Luke who looks ready to break a demon’s kneecap.

“(Y/N), are these demons and Solomon bothering you?” Luke asks, unsatisfied by the small group of you guys talking about the box.

“Hey Simeon, Luke. Want to play this game with us~?” Asmo asks, alluring the innocent into playing a cruel messed up game.

Asmo hands the box to Simeon, who then covers Luke’s eyes from seeing this unholy trinity of a game. “Luke, why don’t you take a seat inside the castle with Beel and wait until Barbatos makes your favorite cake.” Simeon smiles sweetly at Luke, who isn’t having it.

“H-hey! Why can’t I get involved with the box that you and the demons are talking about?” Luke pouts at Simeon, who hands the box to Solomon.

“Luke, Simeon is right. You should stay out of this game. You won’t like it, I promise you.” You told him disappointedly. He was a low-ranking angel who looked too innocent to play the game. If he stayed with Beel (who wasn’t half as bad compared to his brothers), then he was safe for sure.

“Barbatos,” Simeon calls Lord Diavolo’s butler. “Will you please keep Luke company in the Castle’s dining hall with Beel?” 

Barbatos bows his head at Simeon’s request, “Of course. Come on in then Luke. It seems that the others are doing something that they must… censor.” Barbatos then escorts Luke out of the party, with Luke patting Beel’s hand at an outside table with Belphie to accompany him inside.

“Wait, Simeon. You’re actually playing this?!?” You had to ask, you were shocked that an angel like him was playing this game.

Simeon nods, “Lucifer had texted me about this game. He asked me if I’ve ever played. I never have, though I may like to try it.”

“Alright! So me, Asmo, Solomon and Simeon are the only ones down on playing! Anyone else want to play?” You asked the group.

“I’m down on beating Asmo at this!” Levi was already in full gamer mode.

“Oh, are you sure about that dear older brother~? Don’t forget, I’ve played this game with Solomon and the other low-ranking demons and I have always come on top.” Asmo said, with you knowing that this wouldn’t end well.

“Oh... YOU’RE ON YOU NORMIE!” Levi roared. No time for Just Dance 2021 to beat Asmo at a game, Cards Against Humanity it was!

“You guys make this game seem competitive. Alright, I’ll join this card game. We should also get Belphie into this.” Satan tells the group.

“Good idea! I’ll wake Belphie up, I’m sure he’ll like this game.” No doubt Belphie would be good at this game -  _ A party game for horrible people. _

“What’s this all of the sudden?” Lord Diavolo walks up to the group, as you’re waking Belphegor up from his nap to play Cards Against Humanity.

“Oh, hey Lord Diavolo. We’re playing the classic 'Cards Against Humanity'. Want to join?” Solomon asks.

Lord Diavolo laughs, “Hey, Lucifer talked about this game with me! Why not, I’ll get Lucifer and Mammon–”

“NOT MAMMON!” Asmo screams angrily.

“Why not?” Diavolo asks.

“Mammon isn’t trusted to play this game because he’s going to assume it’s a betting game and trick us into stealing our money.” Belphie says, walking alongside you to get to the now crowded group.

“Right that is, Mammon will not be playing. He is in big trouble for what he did just now.” Lucifer suddenly shows up beside Diavolo, who appears to be holding some rope in his hands. The group is then shocked to find Mammon tied down by Lucifer.

“H-h-hey! I wasn’t doin anything, big bro!” Mammon growls, still tied up in the rope that Lucifer put him in.

“Yes you were, Mammon. How do I expect no one but you would ever go into the Demon Lord’s Castle and steal valuable belongings from Devildom’s royalty.” Lucifer crosses his arms, cranky at Mammon whose trying to get himself out of the situation.

“So… Lucifer, are you good with playing Cards Against Humanity with all of us?” You asked, worried that you probably shouldn’t have asked him because of the cranky mood he was currently in.

“I have played this game very many times, so I’ll leave the lot of you here as I get home and tie Mammon up for the New Years. I may return if I do please.” Lucifer replied back.

“Oh, you really should return Lucifer. The countdown to 2021 is starting in less than two hours!” Diavolo reminded him.

“Lucifer, you should really join us! I’d be glad to spend some time with you and the others here.” You said.

“Oi, human! What about me? The Great Mammon–”

“ **Maamooon** ,” Lucifer pulled the rope tighter.  _ ‘Dang, he really did something that pissed off Lucifer this New Years Eve’ _ was all that you thought of when looking at Mammon.

“(Y/N), don’t bother. My scumbag brother should’ve never gotten involved in stealing, hence why he is in the situation that he’ll never get out of, unless he finds a way out of it~.”

You sighed, “I can’t blame you guys for that, I wouldn’t want to gamble on this game. Anyways, it’s just the eight of us playing then?” You asked as the group of you moved to a table that seated you all when playing.

“Yes, I think we’ll do 5 cards per person, redraw one new card from the deck and end the game once it’s 2021.” Solomon suggests.

“Sounds good, I’m down with it.” You look at Asmo, who's looking at Levi like he knows ‘it’s war’.

“You normie, Asmo! I’ll beat you at this if anything.” Levi barks at the smug Asmo, “I’ll pulverize you at this game!”

“I’ll be the one winning this game, Levi. There is no one who is this more sinful and deceiving as me~.” Asmo tells Levi, who's still envious. 

“Okay everyone, let’s just enjoy the game before 2021. As an angel, even I’m getting a little impatient now.” Simeon tells the group, trying to keep his posture in front of you all.

“Simeon is right, let’s get this game over with. Also, I don’t think it’s a good idea to fight you two. Last time we did, Leviathan summoned Lotan.” Satan told the group while reading the rules of the game from the manual.

“And no one wants that!” Diavolo smiled while eyeing Solomon’s skills at shuffling cards.

“Alright, here you guys go.” Solomon said, handing out the shuffled white cards to each person.

As you begin to receive cards from Solomon, you notice the expressions that everyone on the table is showing. Satan and Belphie both looked criminal with those faces. They were the ones most likely of making funny underaged jokes with the cards they were given to be most likely honest. Simeon on the other hand, was surprised. Of course, these were  _ bad unholy cards  _ that old man Simeon would put a Bible on and pray for the people who created this awful game to repent for their sins. Levi looked determined to win this game, but he was blushing  _ hard  _ at the cards he was randomly given by Solomon’s card shuffling. Diavolo looked content though, there was no blaming him for that same face he wore.  _ He must be used to these messed up jokes,  _ you thought while looking at him.

“Okay, so here’s how to play~” Asmo told everyone the basic rules before the group started playing.

* * *

After the rules were explained, the group had played a few rounds. You were often seeing Belphie, Satan or Solomon winning rounds due to how funny their jokes were. You notice that the person to draw cards was Diavolo.

“Let’s see, the card reads:  **What’s that smell?** ” Diavolo said. The seven of you were picking cards out. You knew that the ‘Auschwitz’ card was funny, so you decided to draw that card backwards. After everyone placed their cards you heard Solomon tell Diavolo “Remember, pick what  _ you  _ think is the funniest card.”

Diavolo then flips each of the cards, “ **The arrival of pizza** . This sounds nice but isn’t that funny I would say.” No surprise, this must’ve been Simeon’s card you thought.

“ **A couple hundred pounds of pickles** .” Now everyone laughed at that, other than Diavolo, who put that card aside unhappily. Of course, he  _ hated  _ pickles.

“ **Auschwitz** ,” Only you and Solomon laughed at that card. The rest of the group didn’t know why you two humans thought this word was funny. “I’m sorry, is this a human world joke?”

“Yeah, it is.” You told Diavolo.

“Oh, I’ve used this card once when playing with some lower ranking demons and Solomon! It was a burnout card, but Solomon chose it because ‘he’ thought it was funny,” Asmo pointed out. “Though I don’t know what it means, so I guess I got a free point in that game?”

“I see, well it has left me unamused (Y/N) and Solomon. I don’t know what kind of human world jokes there are, but they don’t resonate well with humor within the Devildom.” Diavolo said, placing the card aside to flip the other cards.

“ **Used panties** .  **Chemical weapons** .” Diavolo said, with a few of you laughing.

“ **Necrophilia** .” Now that was a funny card. Funny to everyone, but Simeon. “Oh, I’m liking this card.” Diavolo smiled.

Diavolo pulled the last card, “And  **Incest** .” Those were all of the cards.

“So… what did you think?” You asked Diavolo.

“To be honest, these cards were not that funny actually. Most of these cards you chose didn’t make me laugh,” Diavolo said. “Though I’d say that  **Necrophilia** was the funny card.”

“Yes!” Belphie said, grabbing the black card in the middle of the table.

“Good job, Belphie!” You smiled at him, who returned the smile back to you.

“Aww, I thought that my  **incest** card was going to win~.” Asmo said.

“Asmo, what you said makes me want to vomit,” You told him unimpressed by exposing his card. 

“H-h-hey, I thought that my pickles card would win! Everyone was laughing–” Levi complained, but was paused by Solomon.

“Except Diavolo. Remember, whatever card the card reader thinks is funny is the one picked Leviathan.” Solomon reminded Levi who was still envious that his card wasn’t picked.

“Alright now, it’s my turn to draw,” Simeon said, picking out a black card from the box. “ **A romantic candlelit dinner would be incomplete without ________** .”

There you all were, drawing cards.  _ Hopefully Simeon doesn’t think bad of this card _ , you thought placing your card down. After all the cards were drawn, Simeon read out each one.

“ **Owing a lot of money to some very bad people.** ” Everyone was chuckling except for Simeon.

“ **A little taste of penis. Slowly releasing a huge fart over the course of two minutes. Square dancing with other racists** .” Simeon was reading these cards with distaste. None of these cards made Simeon laugh. In fact, these cards were all a disgrace in God’s eyes.

Simeon then pulls another card, “ **The awesome power of the Lord.** ” 

“Aww, that’s not fair! Simeon’s going to like this card which isn’t even funny to the rest of us!” Asmo was dissatisfied with whoever chose the card that Simeon just smiled at because it alluded to God and the heavens. Man, did Solomon use that card to play on Simeon?

After reading all of the cards, Simeon points at  **The awesome power of the Lord** card with a smile on his face. “Solomon, I assume that this was your card?” 

“Actually, it’s mine.” Satan smiles picking up the black card that Simeon drew.

“Wow Satan, you really tricked me there! I could’ve sworn that was Solomon or (Y/N)’s card.” Simeon tells Satan, who smiles.

“You could assume that, but I know your sense of humor, Simeon. Even though I’m a demon, I’m analytical… maybe  _ too  _ analytical.” Satan tells Simeon.

“Okay, okay. It’s my magic man’s turn!” Asmo tells the group as Solomon picks up a black card from the deck.

“ **Give me ten good men and 48 hours. I’ll get you _______** . 

The same thing happened and everyone placed their cards down for Solomon to read. 

Solomon smiles at the first one, “ **Bitches** , simply  **_bitches_ ** .”

“ **Sluts, whores** **_and_ ** **bitches** .” Solomon smiles with his eyes wide open. “That’s… extra.”

“ **Certain things, but not others** .  **Murdering our parents** . **A cat with… hands** .” Solomon continued reading the cards out.

“ **Death** .  **Shit** . And finally  **Respecting women** .” Solomon finishes reading them all and sighs. “Wow, I never knew that half of you guys weren’t good at making jokes.” Solomon says unamused by what he read. 

“Aww, come on Solomon. I know there’s a card that’s the clear winner.” Asmo pouts a Solomon, with a hand on his chin nodding.

“If your card was the one with the ‘extra’ bitches, then you’ve got me Asmo,” Solomon tells Asmo. “However, this card… made me cringe a little.” Solomon points to the  **respecting women** card.

“Nice, I got a point.” Simeon smiles, as he is handed the black card that Solomon drew.

“Ohhh man, this is bad! How come someone like Simeon who knows it’s a sin to play this game earns his first point, while I’m left with all the good cards that never satisfy the card holder?” Leviathan says unhappily. No doubt because the group had been through many rounds and Levi hadn’t scored a single point.

“Same here, I had the perfect cards…” Asmo shrugged. “Sorry about that Leviathan. I never knew that everyone had messed up humor than I did.” 

“Yeah, same here. I guess all you normies here have a weird different sense of humor from what I’ve learned. “ Levi laughs.

“It seems like you two make up in time, look.” Satan tells Asmo and Levi, who also points at the television screen for the countdown (which for some reason was turned on).

Suddenly, Beel and Luke appear outside, followed by Barbatos who is holding out a cake.

“(Y/N), Simeon! We’re back!” Luke calls out to the group of you.

“Oh hey Luke! How were things with Barbatos and Beel?” You asked.

“Oh, everything was fine! I assisted Barbatos in preparing the icing on his signature cake and talked with Beelzebub about a few things. He’s a good guy… compared to the other demons you're rooming with (Y/N),” Luke hugs you tight while you accept his embrace. “I wish that you could stay with me, Simeon and Solomon sometime this month in Purgatory Hall! We’re not chaotic like the brothers you live with!”

“Luke, thank you. I’ll think about it, but right now let’s celebrate New Year’s Eve together!” You tell Luke noticing the television start up the countdown.

You then see Solomon and Asmo hand out sparklers to everyone, most likely made by Solomon’s magic.

“Here (Y/N), let’s countdown the New Years together!” Asmo hands you a sparkler, along with holding you and Solomon tight.

You notice everyone together outside in pairs: the twins were together holding hands with each other while watching their sparklers glow, Levi was creating fast paced stars with his sparkler with Satan nearby, while Simeon handed Luke one of the sparklers that Solomon gave him, hesitantly.

However, you asked yourself ‘Where is Lucifer?’ since Diavolo looked… lonely.

“My lord, it will be alright. Lucifer will be coming.” Barbatos assured his young master.

Just then Lucifer appears, along with Mammon since  _ he knew  _ that he wasn’t trusted alone at the House of Lamentation.

“It seems that I was wrong. I’ll be staying for the countdown, (Y/N).” Lucifer says as Diavolo hugs his best friend. To Lucifer’s surprise, he blushes.

“Aww, they’re so cute together~!” Asmo smiled looking at Lucifer and Diavolo standing beside each other for the countdown.

“H-h-hey, ASMO! Can’t I be spendin’ time with (Y/N)? You’ve been with her all night!” Mammon complains trying to hold your hand with the sparkler.

“Nuh-uh, Mammon. (Y/N) is bothered by the stuff you do, you should leave her alone while I hold her close and give her what she wants.” Asmo tells Mammon who looks unhappy.

“It’s alright Mammon, I promise you we’ll all spend time together. I’m not sure where, but it’ll be sometime in 2021!” You told him, with Mammon smiling back at you.

“You better keep my hopes up, (Y/N). Ya better impress the Great Mammon!” He tells you, still holding your stretched hand.

Just then, the countdown to 2021 starts.

_ Ten… Nine… Eight…  _

The countdown continues.

_ Seven… Six… Five… _

_ 2021, this better not be a cursed year. _ You thought.

_ Four… _

_ Three… _

_ Two… _

_ One… _

**Happy New Year!!**

Finally, it was 2021! Asmo kissed you on the cheek, followed by Solomon. Mammon on the other hand looked annoyed.

“Little bro! Keep your grabby hands and lips off (Y/N)!”

“No way, Mammon! (Y/N) has already professed that I’m her favorite!”

“You little–” 

“Guys, stop fighting!” You screamed out.

“(Y/N)...” Asmo whines, a little sad that you had to call out the two at the beginning of 2021.

“Look, I told you two… I’ll make it up to both you and Mammon later this year,” You said it again. “I don’t want you two to fight, so please!” 

  
_ This was going to be a long night _ , you thought dismally as you helped Solomon clean up the cards. TEAM PARTYYYYY was going to spam the chat room by the time you got home. You knew it…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- I was listening to Muira Ayme's [Loveless](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jJ1RjRe0t9s) while editing the last part (no clue why, its an amazing Lesson 40 ending song, even though I'm at Lesson 33).
> 
> -I promise next Chapter will feature 'The Great Mammon', so stay tuned!


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